On track

Hello all :)

It's been awhile. Was packing my mood and feelings for the past two weeks following grandma's demise. I do still miss her alot and I do cry at times. I even dream of her the day before. Really hope she is doing well.

As mentioned, I wanted to blog about the roller coaster that happened before I resume back to blogging.

The first major swing was my job hop.

It took me alot of courage to make the decision to leave my comfort zone of 6.5years on Sept 2014. And yes, I left my role as a ward-based nurse in Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH), hopped over to Khoo Teck Puat Hospital (KTPH) to be a Clinical Instructor. Well, I still do love bedside and clinical nursing, but I also aspire to be a great educator.  

Started work in KTPH on Oct 2014. It's a complete new environment, system and people. Those that I will be working more closely with are the Chief Nurse, Deputy Directors and Asst Directors of nursing. These are the people whom I seldom see or some I don't even know in TTSH. It was a great challenge as I had to gather lots of courage speaking to them and I swear that alot of times I was having tachycardia and my heart almost pump out of my mouth during meetings.

Till date, I'm happy working there although there are unhappy people and unhappy issues that happened. But well, where else doesn't have such, right?

The second major swing was my 2nd pregnancy!

It caught us by surprise and I was in complete denial. Friends of mine know  that we've been trying for a 2nd one since Kayden was 1 year old. But, neh, nothing came out of it and we actually had given up hope on it. And then, one fine day in March 2015, I suddenly felt like puking during a meeting. It was until my colleague asked if I was pregnant, then I realized I missed my menses!

Went on to check and it was positive on the fourth day I missed my menses! I wasn't able to react nor make sense of the kit as I was totally lost. I was in total denial and my colleagues went to pharmacy to get me a second kit to test. haha. Come to think of it, I think it's rather dramatic.

I was still at lost after the second kit was tested and I also don't know how to break the news to my Mr Kwek. When he came to fetch me, I told him I got him a birthday present. The next moment, I chuck the two pregnancy test kits to him. He was at lost of words too. hahaha!

Well, the next day was my planned leave as it was Kwek's birthday and we wanted to bring Kayden out for celebration. In the end we ended up at gynae clinic. And yes, I went back to my favorite gyane Dr Lawrence Ang, whose clinic, Thomson Women's Clinic is now located at Blk 355A Sembawang Way.

It was too early pregnancy, therefore scan couldn't show anything and not even the sac. At that moment when Dr Ang told me that, my heart sank. But he was very positive about it and asked me to return two weeks later. After leaving the clinic, I still felt very upset, so, while Kwek and Kayden were at the restaurant, I secretly went to buy another kit to test. LOL right?

                 

 Now I'm a pro reading the kit. hehehe.

Yup, that was it. The drama of my pregnancy. Well, it wasn't a smooth one for sure and most people always say as you age and with an additional pregnancy, you feel more tired and tough. It is VERY true. I basically had morning sickness from the day I tested positive till week 22. Enjoyed my oral intake till week 28 and morning sickness came back again. Grrr~

Alright, will come back to blog about my labour in the next post :)

Have a great weekend everyone!

                                                          

Last day of 2015- Last Journey

This post is dedicated to my dearest grandma.

It was indeed a roller coaster year for 2015. On the last day of 2015, grandma left us. It was the most devastating news received for the year. My tears can't stop rolling down from the moment I received the whatsapp message from my brother.

Grandma had been in an out of hospital from a frequency of months to weeks. It was until the most recent admission that we learnt her body is failing on her. Over the years she had multiple illnesses-from the most common hyperlipidemia, hypertension, diabetes, electrolye imbalance to complicated diagnosis like myasthenia gravis, falls resulting in hip replacement and the most recent kidney failure. She was left with 10% kidney function and was completely bed-bound. It was heart wrenching to see her suffering in pain with the slightest movement. 

Grandma had been a very strong woman. Despite her failing health, declining physical ability, she always make it a point to turn up for any celebration even though she had to be wheeled (which she hated most). On the recent weddings of my cousins, she insisted to be up on stage during the toasting session which we were very worried and yet touched by her.

She's always the most thoughtful and although with her old age, she still had fantastic memory. She was able to remember the date, time of birth, zodiac, addresses of all her 12 children. She's always up to date on what's happening around in the house. We are a big family and it is difficult for all to meet very often, but grandma will update whoever she met on the latest happening. She even knew the profile of all her grandson/grand daughter-in laws.

No words can describe how upset we are now. All we could do is to tell ourselves grandma is old, she is fortunate to live up to 88 years of life with a large family of children, grand children and great grand children to see her off.
I hope she will be freed from the pain and suffering in her new home now.

The last gift that grandma gave was the angbao for baby's full month and my greatest regret is she never got to see baby.

Now our biggest worry is grandpa. He had lost his lifetime partner and he is all alone now. Gone are the days when they quarrel with each other over the slightest issue because of their hearing impairment. Now there's no one for grandpa to bicker with.
He had been putting up a strong front during the 5 days of funeral but we knew he was secretly tearing. Never will we see this smile on him again.

Gone are those days... Grandma left us on 31/12/2015 at the age of 88 years old. Thank you for all that you have given to us. We will always remember and love you.